God Controls History


Sooo, It has been a while since I’ve posted something, due to the fact that my summer and first quarter of school were very busy. And to throw in yet another twist, this post is NOT so much a devotional, but actually an essay I had to write for my AP English class and I’ve decided to share it because I’m excited about the way the techniques of the paper turned out. I have started writing again, so the 2-5 parts of “Lifeguard” will be coming soon. I hope this following read gets you thinking about how blessed we are to live here, in the United States of America.

Fear comes when there is no protection, a safety net, or security from danger. “I attack when I see no plans of defense have been arranged” says Fear. Fear approaches as a threat of horror and panic. Fear proclaims, “I am a distressing emotion aroused by impending evil, danger, and pain.”

“I can see the cloud of smoke as though it was yesterday”, Bravery explains. “But I didn’t even hesitate, I couldn’t let the smell get to me, I knew exactly what I had to do.” Bravery behaves in a spirit of courage, there is no place for Fear, yet Fear comes without asking. “I was terrified when they told me to go, I couldn’t leave them behind. We all lay on the ground still as could be, no one dared to move.” Bravery is bound to make hard decisions in the midst of terror and tribulation. Knowing what is right, Bravery stands firm in the choices made and does not even give a thought to back down. With tears Bravery says, “I saw him get shot, I knew this only meant one thing. I was next. But, the bullet hit his arm as we lay side by side. I saw his whole body jerk but he was already dead from a previous wound.” Bravery has the courage to love the people with whom long months of training take place knowing that this all is a risk to create a bond that could easily be broken due to death.  Yet Bravery stands tall and proclaims with everything within that no matter what comes, bold we shall stand for the United States now and the generations to come.

Loyalty says, “Just as Bravery, I too, have made a decision that I love my country and am willing to serve it with all that I am. I choose to leave my family and friends behind, many times not being able to even tell them where I am being sent off.” Loyalty is faithful to commitment and obligations. Loyalty explains, “I remember it all so clearly. That one early morning they woke me up and told me to pack my bags because I would be moving somewhere. But where, I wanted to know. All they told me was that I was needed. And so I left my station, the bunk bed which I had gotten used to and the fellows with whom I had trained for hours on end with.” Loyalty displays devotion to country in word and in deed. Loyalty says, “If ever again there came a need to serve, and I was once again in my twenty’s, I would go in a heartbeat, for the love of my country and the generations that will follow me.”

            The freedom which my generation now experiences is due to the service of the men and women before us, veterans, who gave up their lives for the sake of this country. They left footsteps in the history that my generation can now follow in order to bring prosperity to our nation. Veterans are important to our nation’s history and future because without their examples we would be bound to repeat history all the more. In all honesty, many of our veterans have been forgotten. Their service is what has given us freedom and liberty, yet we do not always appreciate the sacrifice they had to go through for us. Most veterans come back with wounds that cut deeper than through skin or bone, they cut through the heart. Veterans are for the most part scarred for life due to the honorable dedication they lived out in the battlefield. It is from these past veterans that my generation sees true pride and love for the land. Veterans are important to our nation’s history and future because without them we would not be where we are today and we would not be able to say, we are one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.




Image I knew when I took a summer job as a lifeguard at Sunsplash I would eventually write about it, since I spend more hours there than anywhere else, or so it seems. That time has come.
At the park, who are you? You are the guest. You have come to the park to enjoy some time with family or friends. You came prepared. You brought a towel, sunblock, some money to buy the traditional ice cream shakes, of course, and water to stay hydrated. What you are not prepared for, is drowning. Why? Because you don’t think it can or will ever happen to you. But, then it happens. You begin to drown. You become the unexpected.
You are now the GID- Guest in Distress. You get covered by a wave of water, you swallow gulps little by little in attempts to reach yourself out for a breath, and eventually you just can’t breathe anymore. You begin to sink. You slowly but surely sink down to the bottom and your mind loses consciousness.
Only seconds go by and all of a sudden you’re back at the top of the water spontaneously grasping for air. You feel your heart beat out of your chest. You were rescued.
In comparison to this story and faith, you are one of two people. On this earth, who are you? First, you are a complete non believer. You are born into this world and are prepared by your parents, relatives, teachers, and coaches how to live life here on earth as though there is nothing else out there. What you are not prepared for is how to live life as though earth is only the beginning. You are not prepared for life after death, because death is just passing from earth to either Heaven or hell. Now who are you?
You are an unprepared human desperate for salvation. You are in need of a lifeguard. You need Jesus Christ. He alone will rescue you from drowning. He has the power to pull you out of death because He already conquered it once. He showed His love by not only giving up everything and coming down to earth for you, but He also died on the cross for you. You see, He didn’t stay up on that cross. That would be like you staying on the bottom of the pool forever. He miraculously rose from the dead displaying His power of overcoming what seems impossible. He revealed that “with God all things are possible.” –Matthew 19:26b. All you have to do is call upon Him and He is ready to come and save you.
“…that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation. For the Scripture says, ‘Whoever believes in Him will not be disappointed.’ For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all, abounding in riches for all who call on Him; for ‘whoever will call on the name of the Lord will be saved.’ ” –Romans 10:9-13.
(To be continued with Lifeguard Part 2- Drowning as a Believer-Where are You?)

Go and Don’t Come Back.


Image   I usually am inspired by God to write words of encouragement. But the following is not much of that. In reality, I’m not so sure yet if it’ll end up being my first finished poem, or a part of a future book. Yet, I know it was truly God inspired because when I sat back and looked at the results, i couldn’t believe what I was reading. I hope it opens up your eyes to see how great our God is. Also, I pray you know that even though on our roadway we may have rocks to stumble upon, hills to run over, or maybe even mountains to climb, we have an awesome God that is there with us all the way. Soooo….

Where did you come from? You’ve created a horrible feeling inside of me, attacking like a hungry animal at my little heart. I beg and cry out, Go! Leave. I don’t want to feel you in me, but you stay.

Now that you’ve become fitted within my little heart, you visit all too often. Why? Why did I let you in at all? You don’t help me, yet I can’t seem to let you go. And when I do make up my mind to part ways with you, you hold on so much more tightly.

I don’t want you anymore. You hurt my little heart and continually break it. Leave, I beg, just go. With you, I don’t just hurt myself, I end up hurting others. That’s not what my little heart desires.

Daily I feel you. Without a doubt I know you are here. You crave on those moments when my little heart gives up and loses hope. It even seems you’re becoming more aggressive with every bit you take. Someday I think there will be nothing left.

I don’t want that day to come. My little heart gets scared and worried, what if you do take all? If you take all, then how will I be able to share with all the rest what my little heart really does desire- joy, peace, and comfort. Please go! Just leave! Don’t hold on to me anymore. You’re not the right choice for me. There’s someone else who is just the right One.

I know your mark has been left on me. Therefore, I will call upon the ultimate Doctor to come and mend it. I don’t want any part of you to ever identify who I am. I will choose to let the right One come with His greatness and make me new again.

He alone can rescue me any moment of my day. He’s perfect, flawless, not one to make me into a mistake. He doesn’t even need to make room for Himself in my heart. The spot He’d fill has been empty for so long. I’ve been missing Him to complete my broken part.

Now go, and don’t bother coming back. You’re not wanted here. You are Anger. He is Love. God is Love.

Stinky Much.


socksEvery person has something they try to hide about themselves. That one thing they realize isn’t exactly something to be proud of or show those around them. It may be as simple as stinky feet. I happen to have extremely stinky feet. Coming home from practice, my Mama yells, “I can smell you from a mile away!”
I was blessed to have the chance to come out to Santa Cruz for the annual Christian Camp Leadership Conference. Here, everyone was assigned to a team. Eventually, we had challenges set before us that we were to conquer and games given to defeat. Never did I think my stinky feet could win one of these games!
During the competition, we were told to race towards a table bringing whatever item the one leading the game announced. Ready, Set, Go and I took off running with my sock in hand. The host asked the teams to bring the nastiest smelling sock they could find for the group. Winning the game with the grossest smelling sock, I felt like a champ for a second. But, then my mind started to ponder and God began to speak.
After finishing our run on this earth, we will all stand before Him one day and have to answer to Him. No matter what I set at His table it will appear as stinky and useless for He is so beyond perfection. The word winner shouldn’t even appear in my dictionary when I meditate on my Lord and Savior. The one and only way I could ever be seen as a champion is if He is in me. So, when people think of me do they picture Christ as part of who I am? Or do they just see a short girl with blonde hair, blue eyes, and stinky feet? As Christians, we carry His name proclaiming to be His followers. By calling ourselves Christians, we declare that we have died to ourselves and now live fully for Him. Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 5:17, “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature…” and in Colossians 3:12, “… put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience…” So through my actions, do I leave behind a beautiful aroma for the Lord or a false scent that only the materialistic world perceives as pleasant?

Order Up.


Every Friday, the youth choir from church gets together to practice. Afterwards, we usually go out to eat somewhere because many of us come to practice directly from work or school. This past Friday, we went out for sushi. Like always, we came, reserved our spots, waited, were seated, and ordered our food. A few minutes later, the waitress brought to us our meal. After sorting out which plate belongs to who, we noticed one of the orders was wrong. Seeing this, we let the waitress know. In result, she apologized and assured us that the right order will be made and brought over in a couple minutes.
Having been saved by Jesus Christ who came and rescued us, we now have a spot reserved in Heaven. There, He is waiting for us just as we here should be longing with all our hearts to see Him. “Whom have I in heaven but You? And earth has nothing I desire besides You.”-Psalm 73:25
Many times we pray for something and seem to receive no answer. When the prayer is finally answered in a way we least expect or want, we often ask God, “Why can’t it be the way I thought and wanted?” I just imagine Him shaking His head at me and sayin’ “O you of so little faith.” He knows exactly what He is doing. He brings us what He believes is best for us as we run the roadway. He won’t say sorry as the waitress did when she accidentally brought the wrong order, because God has NEVER made a mistake. His order for our life is so much better than we could ever imagine. “As for God, His way is perfect: The Lord’s word is flawless; He shields all who take refuge in Him.”-Psalm 18:30 sushi

FOOD. It’s that simple.


God speaks to us through many different things, events, and people. Today I had the opportunity to visit my Grandpa Fedor through whom God spoke to me clearly opening my heart up to be sweetly broken. Grandpa was born in the year 1932 in Siberia. Growing up, Grandpa didn’t have much. Seems like a cliche thing that you hear coming from the older generation, but it really is true. He lost his father at the age of five, leaving him with his mother. Shoes were made from the skins of animals, and honestly, the way Grandpa described them, these days we would mistaken them for socks. All clothes was hand made by his mom so in reality, he barely had any clothing. The clothes he did have were thin and made literally from whatever products they could grow outside such as cotton. Hearing this, my heart began to break and I realized I need to be more thankful for what I have and for the many blessings in my life. But, it wasn’t until Grandpa began to speak about food that my heart completely broke. He spoke of the freezing cold winters during which potatoes were the main and pretty much only food element. Yet, it’s not the poorness of the potatoes that got me, it’s the way they found the potatoes. Grandpa would go outside and in negative degree weather, with his sock like shoes on his feet, and dig through six feet of snow just to find a couple potatoes. Just think, I feel like I’m frozen and can’t move when it’s only 32 degrees F while I’m wearing five or so layers of clothing and warm fuzzy boots. The process people went through those days to get just enough food to survive seems crazy! Once spring time came along, grass became the main meal for the people. Grandpa said he knew every single lil’ green thing that grew in his village, what was okay to eat and what was deadly. Grandpa said they dreamed of finding some kind of nice grass just as now days I dream of ice cream in the middle of winter, go figure. Bread was never ever a part of Grandpa’s diet and meat came in very little amounts. Actually, the only meat Grandpa ate during this time came from horses, cows, and dogs that were dead before they were even considered for food, meaning, they were found dead. That just seems ridiculously scary and sad now a days.

Food is an essential part of living on this earth for every human being. To this day, there are places on this planet people go above and beyond trying to find just the amount of food to get them to survive yet another day. Grandpa is just one example of many others. As believers, we often refer to the Bible as our “Daily Bread” in our Spiritual food category. But do we actually read (eat) it daily? When being tempted by the Devil in the desert Jesus said, “It is written: ‘Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’ ” -Matthew 4:4 In this verse, one can see that we can go without earthly food for a bit, but the Word of God is needed in our lives to keep us Spiritually healthy everyday. Yet, do we go above and beyond to make that happen? We often choose to skip a “Bible Meal” and go do something else. As Christians, we were created to NEED Jesus everyday. “Then Jesus declared, ‘I am the bread of life.’ ” – John 6:35a Just as we were created to eat food to keep our earthly bodies functioning, we were created to crave Jesus. We need to go above and beyond in putting Him first in our lives. We need Him as we need food every day. It’s that simple. So, how far will you go this day to place a “Bible Meal” as first priority in your life? Image

Run. Don’t Walk.


Back in Elementary School, I remember having to run half a mile during P.E. Boy Oh boy that sure seemed like a lot back than. Yet, nobody walked, we all ran as fast as our lil’ feet could go. Why? Well, because we all knew once you finish your laps the teacher would give you a little charm to represent your completion of the task. Every kid wanted to have more and more as the year went on. So even when the last days of the year approached, when summer was only a couple days away, we all ran, no one walked.
On my roadway, God saved me with His love and mercy. He displayed before me the turns to take to change my destination, because without Him I was headed straight for hell. Before running the laps in P.E. every student had to make sure they were wearing tennis shoes and clothing that was comfortable for running. All things that would get in the way were taken off and put aside. Just like that, we are called to let go of all the things which slow us down on our run during this journey. “…let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame…” -Hebrews 12:1b-2a.
The saying is “Don’t talk the talk, but walk the walk.” Well, I say, don’t just talk, but RUN. Just as kids in a P.E. class get excited about receiving a charm for completing their laps, we as God’s children, loved and truly cherished by Him, should find extensive joy in not walking, but running towards Jesus on our roadway. He is the prize which we will get to see once we reach our destination. “Oh I’m running to Your arms, I’m running to Your arms.” So Run. Don’t Walk. IMG_0369